Proposing is a nerve-wracking thing to do (I speak from experience, I proposed to my wife along the river here). I’ve photographed many proposals in Bordeaux since, and most of my work happens long before the day. By the time you’re walking your partner towards the spot, everything around you should already be sorted, so all you need to think about is the moment itself.
It’s not just men on one knee, either. I’ve photographed women proposing too, and everything below works the same whoever’s doing the asking.
Here’s how it works, from your first message to the gallery landing in your inbox.
How far ahead to book
It can be a fairly last-minute thing. I’ve had people get in touch with two weeks’ notice, and others who wanted it planned three or four months out. Most people book well under six months ahead. If your trip is coming up soon, it’s worth asking anyway.
Choosing where to propose in Bordeaux
Most people come to me with a list of the famous spots. They’re famous for a reason, but the right place depends on things a list won’t tell you: the time of day, where the light falls, how busy it gets and how private you want it to feel.
Once I know your date and rough timing, I’ll suggest one or two locations that fit, plus a backup in case anything crops up. If you’ve already got somewhere in mind, that’s fine too. I’ll help with the timing and where you stand so it photographs well and doesn’t feel staged.
A lot of the people I work with have never been to Bordeaux, so I go and look for you. I’ll send short videos of the spots so you can see them as they actually are, and we can jump on a video call to talk it through.
“He even visited the location I had in mind (although I was on another continent) and helped scope out the possible proposal spots.” Felipe
Morning or evening?
There isn’t really a bad time. Bordeaux has places that photograph well even in strong midday sun. But if you ask me, I’ll nudge you towards the morning, and it’s more for you than for the photos. Propose in the morning and you get the whole day in your own little bubble, where nobody else knows yet. Go for a long lunch, wander round, enjoy being engaged. Having done it myself, it’s one of the best days you’ll have.
Getting them there without giving it away
This is usually the hardest part, and the bit people worry about most. For a morning proposal, there’s a nice café in the Jardin Public that makes an easy excuse. In the evening, a drink before dinner works well, and it solves the other tricky problem, which is getting them dressed up without making them suspicious.
Some partners are naturally sceptical (or a bit contrary, if you suggest something they’ll want to do the opposite). That’s fine. We work it into the plan, and I can give you a few different reasons to be in the right place at the right time.
In the lead-up
Once we’ve settled on a date, we lock in the time and location. I check the area beforehand for anything that might get in the way, like roadworks or an event nobody mentioned. About a week out I start watching the weather, and if it looks like we need a plan B, we sort it early rather than the night before.
The day before, we swap WhatsApp details and go over anything that needs tweaking. I do a final scout to make sure nothing has changed since we made the plan, and if something has popped up, we adjust.
On the day
You’ll know what I’m wearing and I’ll know what you’re wearing, so there are no awkward “is that him?” moments. If you’re happy to, we share live location on WhatsApp, so I know exactly where you are and how close you’re getting.
I get there about 30 minutes before you. That gives me time to settle in, make any last-minute changes and, if the spot is busy, do a bit of crowd moving. Because I can see you coming, I can clear the space right at the last minute. I’ve moved people off the steps at the Palais more than once, and I once moved an entire yoga class out of the way. Once I explained what was about to happen, they were more than happy to, and they gave the couple a round of applause at the end (which was really sweet).
Four ways to do it
1. The helpful tourist
This is the one most people go for. I’m already in the area, posing as a tourist taking a few photos. You both arrive, take a couple of selfies, then you “notice” me and ask if I’ll take one of you on your phone. I put you exactly where the light is best, take a couple of phone shots, then offer to grab a nice one on my camera. Once they’re facing me, you drop to one knee.
2. Someone in the background
I’m in plain sight but just another person in the square. You walk into the spot as planned, they say yes, and then you point me out.
3. The wildlife photographer
I’m not seen at all. I shoot from a distance with a very long lens, and they have no idea I’m there until afterwards.
4. The hotel photoshoot
For Felipe and Sara’s proposal in Saint-Émilion, the hotel offered a photographer as part of their weekend package. As far as Sara knew, I was just there to take some pictures of them around the grounds. Then Felipe proposed.
Whichever you choose, once you’re down on one knee the world disappears. You won’t notice anything around you, including me. That’s completely normal.
What if it rains?
Touch wood, I’ve never had a rained-off proposal. It’s been damp (Nick and Emma’s was a bit wet, and it made no difference at all). If it does rain, there are options. The Palais in the Jardin Public has some cover, and so does the Porte Cailhau (which I still can’t pronounce). There’s also the Galerie Bordelaise, an old shopping arcade near the Grand Théâtre, and the cathedral at a push. It changes how I shoot it, but it doesn’t have to change the plan.
The closest it’s come to going wrong
One proposal last year (Lesley and Gulsum’s, the full story is here) was such a surprise that she refused to believe it was actually happening. She walked away, and he had to go after her and tell her how much he loved her. It ended up being really sweet. That’s genuinely the nearest any of them has come to going wrong.
A few things visitors don’t expect
The centre of Bordeaux is small. Most of the sights are a few minutes’ walk from each other, so after the proposal we can usually fit in two or three different spots for portraits, all within a 5 to 15 minute walk.
Evenings in the parks get busy, because half the city heads there after work. Worth knowing if you’re picturing somewhere quiet at 7pm.
And the summer heat can be brutal. I’ve done a couple of proposals at 40C. We’ll plan around it, but bring water.
My advice for the day itself
Enjoy it. Most people proposing have already talked about getting married, so the chances of anything other than a yes are tiny. For a few minutes you’re in a bubble where nothing else exists. It’s a huge rush, and you probably won’t feel joy quite like it again. I tell people the engagement day is almost as good as the wedding day, maybe better, because it’s just the two of you with nothing else to think about.
After the proposal
The proposal itself takes about half an hour from start to finish, then we spend another half hour or so on portraits nearby. By that point you’re both buzzing and the photos come easily. Then I step away and you get on with your day. Find a café, open a bottle of something, enjoy being engaged.
Around 10 preview images land within 48 hours, so you’ve got something to send home straight away. The full gallery of 50 to 60 edited images follows within 4 to 6 weeks, in a private online gallery you can download and share.
What it costs
€375 in Bordeaux. That covers the planning and scouting, the proposal, the portraits afterwards and both galleries. Saint-Émilion, the Dune du Pilat or anywhere further out has extra travel costs, which we agree upfront.
“He was kind enough to take videos of locations for proposals, hop on video calls to discuss details, and provide tips and pointers wherever necessary.” Brendan
Ready to start planning?
If you’re still working out where to do it, I’ve put together a guide to the best places to propose in Bordeaux. You can see more of my work and what’s included on my proposal photography page. Or if you’re thinking about it, even loosely, send me a message on the below form.